That Had to Hurt...- The Most Embarrassing Moments of Middle and High School

Middle and High School are parts of most people's lives that they wouldn't relive for a million dollars. Though there are the rare individuals who escape with minimal psychological damage, most adults can think of at least a few moments that were so embarrassing that even today they'd rather not talk about them. After all, we can't all be the prom queens and quarterbacks, so most of us are fated to remember our teenage years as, well, a little humiliating. There's a reason why countless TV shows and movies (see: "The Wonder Years", "Freaks and Geeks", "My So-Called Life", almost any John Hughes movie, "Say Anything", "Mean Girls", the "American Pie" flicks) have chosen high school as their subject matter. Being a kid can be a little dramatic.

As a middle school teacher, I get to witness my students at the beginning of the trek through their "teenage wasteland" and, frankly, it isn't always pretty. I often become a sounding board from their middle school age drama and get to remember my own sometimes painful adolescence. I often cringe my way through the school day as I try to hide my own embarrassment at my students' humiliating moments. Sometimes I can only say, quietly to myself, "Ouch."

So, in honor of the beginning of a new school year, a list of some of the worst aspects of being a teenager. Get ready for a scary flashback of your own.

• Hormones. This category covers so much when it comes to middle and high schoolers. The mating dance of the average kid begins somewhere around the age of 12, when the opposite sex no longer has "cooties" and actually starts to look a little good. This means a series of very awkward boyfriends and girlfriends who may or may not even be of the romantic variety. Sometimes, kids in middle school date only because their friends are dating and the whole endeavor has the tone of an arranged marriage. For example, text messages, handwritten notes, or locker room chatter "sets up" who is boyfriend and girlfriend, while the actual boy and girl might never even "date" or simply hold hands. I've heard my students say things like, "Yeah, we were bf and gf for, like, 4 periods on Tuesday. Whatever." There are the rare couples who actually hang out with their boy or girlfriend in middle school, in which a long-term relationship is usually no longer than a month. The "old married couples" have been together for a whopping 3 months. If you, like most, are unlucky enough to not be coupled up in middle or high school, well, you can bet that school dances are sometimes a little lonely. Get ready to visit the bathroom or refreshment stand during the slow dances.
• Bodily Functions. Along with your super cool new hormones comes a set of awesome bodily functions that you didn't even know you were capable of! Witness the wonder of breasts, excessive sweating (with or without deodorant), boys who can't control what happens in their pants (you get the idea), and zits everywhere. All of these magical little gifts from Mother Nature have the power to get you teased. Whether you are the girl who is totally flat-chested or you are... well-endowed at only 13, you will likely hear a little something about it from your peers. Sweat glands work overtime during puberty, so if no one let you in on the magic of deodorant, you might be a social outcast. Most boys find it a bit difficult to hide their excitement, sometimes about the smallest things and acne can spring up in the darndest locations, like the ALL over the face, back and even rear end. Gross? Yes, but sadly true.
• Popularity. Most schools schools have a hierarchy, assisted today by technology like Facebook and text messaging. You might be at the top one day and the bottom the next. Sometimes it depends on what you wear, sometimes how you wear your hair, and sometimes who you are dating. High school is a superficial place, sadly, and often the kids with the most potential (the bright, creative kids) end up at the bottom of the heap as outcasts because their peers are unsure what to make of them. Bullying is the buzzword in education these days, but that doesn't mean that increased awareness of the problem is making the situation any better. Bullying sometimes happens undercover, aided by texting, Facebooking, tweeting, and other forms of social networking. And, most of all, bullying is a lot more public and permanent than it was ten years ago: kids can post messages to Facebook on their cell phones and nearly everyone in the school knows in seconds. If you are lucky enough to be a kid of the eighties or nineties as I am, you miss out on all the havoc that technology can wreak on a kid's social life. It's a jungle out there, for lack of a better way to put it, and things are even more complicated than when you were a kid.

So, what does this mean if you are a parent to a middle or high schooler? Or, like me, you get the unique pain/pleasure of trying to teach them something amidst all this social agony? Well, try to be a little more sympathetic to the mood swings of adolescence. Chances are, no matter how honest, there's a whole lot your kid is not telling you or won't confess to even the "coolest" teacher. Be open-minded and listen when they do decide to let you in, because these moments might be rare.

If you are a teenager yourself and this sounds a little familiar to you (were you last picked at Dodge Ball?), keep your head up. Many successful people claim to have been the "freaks and geeks" of their high schools: Lady Gaga, Natalie Portman, and Zoe Saldana were all dorks according to interviews. Even action star Vin Diesel played "Dungeons and Dragons". Take heart- there are even actors like you in the movies (remember Michael Cera in "Superbad"?). And often, even the "popular" kids feel as if they are somehow "on the outside". Adolescence isn't always fun, but you will live to tell the tale.

( If you are brave enough, share an embarrassing school moment below under "Comments". Or give some advice to kids who still have a few years of their "teenage wasteland" remaining.)